50 Shades of Grey – the Movie

I was very disappointed with the movie “50 Shades of Grey” and so were all the other readers.  As they say, you get what you paid for.  It was obvious that the producer, director and other filmmaker did not spend much on the movie which depicted the book of the year(s), “50 Shades of Grey.”  First of all, they selected a terrible actor Jamie Dornan to play Christian Grey.  Christian Grey was incredibly handsome, almost perfect, with copper hair.  He was tall, well built and had a lot of sex appeal.  Without trying to insult Jamie Dornan, he definitely is not a Christian Grey.  His hair was the wrong color.  He looked more like a Greek senator.  His face was all right, but he was not very handsome.  He seemed to have trouble with one of his eyes.  He had wide hips, and that ridiculously cheap suit with the single button at the chest only accentuated his wide hips which made his suit flaps stand out.  Jamie looked ridiculous in that suit. There was no sex appeal about him.  A Christian Grey should have been someone like Traves Fimmel who plays the part of Rogner from Vikings or Brad Pit.  The man is handsome.  He is an excellent actor.  His face has many interesting expressions for pain, love, hate, anger, etc.  Someone like that would have fit the part, but I found Jamie Dornan a poor substitute for the real thing.  A lot of times, filmmakers do not want to pay the price for a big star and end up spoiling the movie by getting a cheaper and lesser character for the part.

Dakota Johnson had the right face, and I actually liked the clothes she wore for her first meeting with Christian Grey, but that was it.  Her figure was all right, but it was straight up and down.  There was little shape to it.  If you are going to have to see someone naked, get a more womanly figure, someone slender with fuller breasts.  Ana had fuller breasts and a more womanly figure.  That is the other problem.  If you have to keep seeing someone’s breasts, get a movie star who has lovely breasts.  Dakota had O.K.  breasts, but they were not beautiful breasts.  Her breasts looked like the breasts of a person who has had children and nursed her children.  After nursing, the breasts are not quite full like they were before she ever nursed a child.  I did not like the fact that Dakota spend the whole film crying.  Didn’t she read the books?  Ana Steele was the book’s character’s name, and it symbolized the strength of her character.  Ana Steele did not go around sniffing and crying.  There were only three instances that I can remember in the trilogy when Ana cried.  One was when she thought Christian crashed in his helicopter.  Another time was when he caned her, and she told him he was crazy.  The last time is when some people kidnapped Christian’s sister, and Ana is trying to get $5,000,000 for the ransom.  She has to make Christian think that she’s getting the money for herself, etc.  Other than that, Ana was strong all the time.  In the movie, she sniffs and cries constantly.  Dakota sounds boring portraying this great character.  She sounds weak, which Anna is not.  Dakota portrayed Ana Steele as a weak person, and it was all wrong.  The names of the two character tell you who these people really are.

The wardrobe was cheap looking and nothing like what Christian chose for Ana.  You get what you pay for, or they chose bad clothing for the movie.  The clothing looked terrible.  Christian was a billionaire.  He knew clothing.  His adoptive parents were wealthy, so he knew about good things.  Jamie running around with only the jeans hanging from his hips in the play room did not look sexy.  His hips were too wide.  In my opinion, he is not a sexy man.  He looks more like an auditor than a sexual man.  Starting with Jamie’s suit, it looked cheap and was made for a man with broad shoulders and slender hips.  Jamie did not have slender hips.   Ana’s pink or peach colored dress did not even fit her torso.  The cup of the dress seemed too large, the skirt too short.  The filmmakers must have thought her long legs would hide how terrible the dress was.  They did not.  She had terrible clothes, and like I said, you get what you paid for.

Selection of characters:  Where did they get these people?  Didn’t anyone from the filmmakers, director, producer, etc. read the book?  Christian’s brothers were handsome men.  The men chosen to play the parts were quite unattractive.  His mother and father in the film were unattractive.  In the book, they were not.  Ana’s roommate was gorgeous Kate Kavanagh.  Eloise Mumford is not bad looking, but she did not look attractive in the film.  She looked strange, unattractive.

Altogether, it was a terrible film.  I would give the filmmakers a minus F because they did not even touch the beauty of the story and the people in it.  I suggest they read the trilogy, and if they have, then do it again because they missed what the people in the story were all about.